Seven

i used to write poetry
and sleep past noon
i used to live alone
and like it
eat strawberry ice cream
and not give a shit
how the scale
buckled
i used to read
i used to draw
i used to say
what i thought
wear tight jeans
stilettos
thongs
fuck in public places
i used to get wasted
i used to watch porn
i used to laugh easy
enjoy the sound of my voice
think i was wise
keep in touch with my friends
go out
to bars
go to movies
go to concerts
wander the mall
window shop

i have given up so many things
since 25
banged my head 100x
on my silly notions of adulthood
stubbed my toes
on iconic steps
smashed my fingers
in sliding doors

and i'm not done
bumbling my way
through

but i am
achingly,
finally
over

i used to want you
now i know better

(c) Michelle R. Smith 2008-9